Having a mammogram can be scary, not the actual test, but what that test may say. The worst part is waiting for the results. Thank you YHWH they have improved this process. As many of you know I recently had a mammogram and the nurse called back to schedule another one plus a sonogram. My reaction wasn’t great like many people’s reactions when they are first told there is something there, but the doctor’s not sure what it is so more tests are required.
Our minds automatically go to the worst case scenario. Why is that? Could it be because we are bombarded with commercials about sicknesses? Or is it because we have these statistics impressed into our subconscious with one of them being 1 in 3 women will develop or die of cancer? After all, most of us already know someone who has died from cancer and somehow we think we are next. Isn’t that why doctors ask about our family history? Aren’t they trying to find out if we’re next? I’m sorry, I mean aren’t they trying to find out if we may be at a higher risk for developing whatever health issue our parents had? Well, this was definitely my problem. I had to realize YHWH has never left me nor has He ever forsaken me. He is true to His word. If you’re curious as to how I processed the information, you can read “What’s Wrong with My Breasts?”
A friend of mine offered to go to the exam with me. She was going to take a little time off of her job. As she was telling me I knew she wouldn’t be able to go. I knew I was supposed to go alone, at least physically. The day of the exam I called her and sure enough she couldn’t get off. Someone had already taken off. I was okay because I already knew this would happen. You see on my way to another doctor’s appointment the day before (for something totally different) I had a conversation with YHWH. He let me know He would be with me and everything would be fine, but I needed to take better care of myself. I needed to stop destroying my body and start helping it to heal. How was I destroying it? By not eating good wholesome foods, stuffing my body with junk food; by not moving my body enough, getting no exercise; by allowing other people’s drama to be my drama, causing unnecessary stress on my body; and by not building myself up in His word on a regular basis. We can’t walk in total health if part of us is a mess and He desires us to be healthy in our spirits, souls, and bodies.
The Mammogram Exams
Eventually, I resolved everything was going to be fine. No matter what happened or what was said, everything was going to be fine. The next day I went to get my mammogram. A technician took my first images. Then I went to wait. Another technician came back to say I needed more images done. Then I went to wait again.
I couldn’t concentrate on anything. I couldn’t read, study Hebrew or play a game. I didn’t know why they were taking more images. What were they seeing that they needed so many pictures? All the while I kept hearing this small clam voice telling me, “Calm down. It’s okay. Everything is fine. They’re just being thorough.”
Then another lady came to get me to take a sonogram. She said the doctor wasn’t satisfied with the mammogram images. Instead of lying there on the table with goop on my stomach listening for a heartbeat, listening for life, I laid on the table staring at my breast on a screen looking for death. After getting measured and pushed on, the technician went to see the doctor to see if these images were good. They weren’t. The locations for the mammogram images and the sonogram images weren’t matching up. She placed three little stickers on my breast where the masses inside of me were in questioned. Then I went back to take a few more images in the mammogram machine. After that, I had to go wait some more. Time went by slowly. I began to write it in my phone how I was feeling at this point.
Shaking from nervousness. Had to have a second mammogram. Heart beating fast. Sonogram showed something different. More deep breathing. Wish I had someone here to distract me. Waiting on doctor to call me. I brought stuff to do but I can’t concentrate. Can barely hold this phone to type. This makes me think about the scriptures that talk about the hearts of men failing. If I thought this was bad, what will it be like when men everywhere just drop dead because of fear of what is going on in the world. Third set of mammograms taken. Please heavenly Father let all of this end with good results.
The Mammogram Results
As I’m sitting in the waiting room, I get a text message from my daughter asking me if I was on my way home yet. She needed to go to work and I was babysitting for her. She was already late. My appointment was at 7:30 a.m. Thus, I naturally I thought I would be done quickly, not so. Between all of the tests and the other women being tested I had been there for 2 hours already. I was annoyed by the text. Did she think I was hanging out with the nurses chit-chatting? Did she think I was done and just out partying somewhere? REALLY!?! I was sitting there trying not to cry. This was the last place I wanted to be. Instead of lashing out at her, I texted her back they were still testing and I’ll be home as soon as they were done. I’m sure she thought I would be done by now too.
A few minutes later the sonogram technician came in to tell me I could go home, everything was fine. Now it was my turn to not be satisfied. I needed some answers. I found out I have three cysts in my right breast, 1 large and 2 very small ones. They are right below the stickers and are not cancerous. How do they know they aren’t cancerous? Based on how they look. I am to come back in another year.
Nothing Can Be Done
There is nothing the doctors can do or are not willing to do for cysts. Sometimes, the cysts dissolve on their own. Well, I don’t think mine dissolved on its own the first time. I think the large one is the one that was seen three years ago. With that in mind I am determined to get rid of all of them once and for all. Now I know why YHWH said I needed to take control of my health. If I keep going the way I am going there will be cysts everywhere, not just in my one breast. And they may eventually turn cancerous.
I left that place praising YHWH because He has given me a chance to fix my problem. He heard my cry and now I need to walk in His answer. Most nights I put a fomentation on my breast. I take healthy supplements such as wheatgrass, chlorophyll, vitamin E, and a few other things to help feed my body with good things. I don’t eat a lot of junk food anymore. My goal is to not eat it at all.
As if to help me on my journey YHWH has placed it in people’s hearts to give me the tools I need to gain health. My friend brought me over her old exercise machine because she got a new one. She was going to sell it, but decided to give it to me. My daughter is buying me a weight bench set and my sister bought me a Pilates’ book with a DVD. I’ve gained a desire to learn how to cook from scratch and stop eating all of this process food. My desire to study the Word of YHWH has increased and brought back the excitement I have for His word.
If I can leave you with one thing, it is this: Don’t leave YHWH out of your life. That means don’t put Him on the shelf when things are going well. Don’t only talk to Him when things are going wrong. Tell Him what’s going on in your life on a regular basis. Let Him know how happy you are, what made you laugh, what made you cry and what is in your heart. Talk to Him about your plans and then ask Him what He thinks about it. Include Him in raising your children. Ask Him what He wants you to do and how He wants you to act. Include Him in your life. Make Him your best friend, the one you will die for. Make Him your very breath of life because that is what He is. At the end of the day, YHWH will never leave you or forsake you.