There are times in our lives when we go through something that utterly breaks us from the inside out. At first we are stunned and don’t know how to react. We feel the tears trying to force their way to the surface, but we refuse to let that happen. We try to hold things together because there are people around and we don’t want them to know how we are feeling. Then the end of the day comes.
Silence overtakes our atmosphere. Our thoughts overwhelm us. It feels like a strong wave crashing down on us. Yet, we still want to stand strong. It doesn’t matter if we are alone. We tell ourselves everything will be alright. We will make it through this because we always do. Things are not as bad as we think they are.
Then a new emotion comes in to surprise us. We’re not sure what this is. We’re not sure how we feel. Memories began to flood us. Dreams we once had that faded into the background. Hopes we once had that no longer existed. Visions we now know that will never come to pass.
Now we know what this new emotion is. It is the one that devastates us to the very core of our being. It is the one that rips all of our hopes and dreams to shreds. It is the one that shows us our ultimate dreams and how little by little it was decaying right before our eyes without us ever noticing. It is the emotion that says there is no more hope.
It Hurts so Bad, I Want to Die
The scriptures tell us hope deferred makes the heart sick. That’s exactly what it’s doing to us – eating us up from the inside out. We can’t think straight. We want to stay in bed all day. We want to be left alone with our pain. We want to figure out why this has happened to us. What did we do to deserve so much pain?
We open the Bible to find comfort. We flip through the pages and realize we aren’t the only ones who have felt like giving up. There was Job, a righteous man, who suffered for no apparent reason than to prove to Satan that he would not disown Yahweh as his God in spite of what happens to him.
Job lost everything he loved, his children, his livestock, and his wealth. All of this happened at once. He never had a chance to morn his lost of the first thing before the next thing happened. Then he got sick and his friends tried to convince him that he had sinned and he brought this on himself. Then to finalize his hopelessness, his wife tells him to curse God and die. In response to all his misfortune Job said, “My days pass more swiftly than a weaver’s shuttle and come to their end without hope.” (Job 7:6 CJB)
Part of us can identify with Job, but let’s face it, 99% of us can never say we were righteous like Job. So we continue searching the scriptures. Then we come across David. Now him we can identify with because he wasn’t always the model citizen. He brought some things on himself through his actions to the point that at one time he wanted to die.
David said, “Insults have broken my heart to the point that I could die. I hoped that someone would show compassion, but nobody did; and that there would be comforters, but I found none.” (Ps. 69:20 CJB)
Our pain hurts so bad that we feel like David did. We feel alone like no one understands. We have no one to talk to, to comfort us. It doesn’t matter if we were always there for others. Sometimes, it turns out that there is just no one there for us. We search for someone to comfort us, but there is none. Our pain is so great we too want to die.
Comfort Us Yahweh
When we feel like this we have to do what David did – turn to the only one who can restore our souls, Yahweh Elohim. Every time David needed help he turned to Yahweh, calling him by his name. Psalm 34:18 tells us Yahweh is near to those with a broken heart and he saves those whose spirit is crushed. So although we might feel alone, like no one cares what we are going through, that is not the truth.
The truth is Yahweh is right there with us, bottling up every tear that falls from our eyes, telling us he will never leave us, nor forsake us and that he loves us with an everlasting love. If we let him do his job, he will heal our broken hearts and bind up our wounds. He will restore our souls so we can be whole again.
How to Let Yahweh Restore Us
Let Yahweh be our counselor. We need to talk to him like we would our best friend. We should tell him what happened and how we feel. We need to acknowledge our hurt. Cry if we need to, knowing he has his loving arms wrapped around us.
Listen to what Yahweh says. After we have finished talking to him and telling him everything, we need to take time to listen to what he is saying to us just like we would our friends. Allow what he is saying to sink into our hearts.
Write down what Yahweh says to us. We need to take out a pen and paper and write down everything we hear. This way we can go back over what Yahweh told us, especially if we are feeling down again.
Remember, Yahweh wants to heal us and is waiting for us to come to him with all of our cares. I know things may seem like there is no end to the pain. I know you may feel like there is no more hope, but I urge you to take your pain to the Father and let him heal you. Allow him to pour the balm of Gilead into you. Allow him to cover you with his wings and show you his loving kindness and tender mercies. You owe it to yourself to do this. May Yahweh bless you and keep you .
Prayer Time
Our Heavenly Father, who is in heaven,
Save me and I shall be saved. Restore my soul unto me and I shall be restored. Bind up my broken heart and pour in the balm of Gilead.
In Yeshua the Messiah’s name, Amen.
Scripture Reference
“Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but desire fulfilled is a tree of life.” (Pro. 13:12 CJB)
“He restores my inner person. He guides me in right paths for the sake of his own name.” (Ps. 23:3 CJB)
“He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.” (Ps. 147:3 CJB)
“You have kept count of my wanderings; store my tears in your water-skin -aren’t they already recorded in your book?” (Ps. 56:8 CJB)
“Insults have broken my heart to the point that I could die. I hoped that someone would show compassion, but nobody did; and that there would be comforters, but I found none.” (Ps. 69:20 CJB)
“ADONAI is near those with broken hearts; he saves those whose spirit is crushed.” (Ps. 34:18 CJB)
“Let your conversation be without covetousness; and be content with such things as ye have: for he hath said, I will never leave thee, nor forsake thee.” (Hebrews 13:5 KJV)
“From a distance ADONAI appeared to me, [saying,] “I love you with an everlasting love; this is why in my grace I draw you to me.” (Jer. 31:3 CJB)